King Sheep Productions

Well, crap.  I left one movie out of this week’s roundup and I was punished for my lack of foresight because it took number 1 this weekend (over $28 million buckaroos).

The success of the critically-panned Beyoncé Knowles/Ali Larter Fatal Attraction rip off Obsessed (RT 21% M 24%) might make some reviewers wonder how much their opinion matters.  However, the counterpoint is that sometimes people just want to watch entertaining trash. It’s like a dirty little secret that got out and became everyone’s dirty little conversation topic.  So, just how dirty is it?

“’I’m not your typical temp,’ said Ali, as she orders a dirty martini, which is a martini in a glass raised by wolves.” Mark Ramsey MovieJuice!

Huh?  Is the glass or the martini raised by wolves?  More importantly, huh?

“Just when I want cheese, you give me caviar.” Gina Carbone Seacoast Newspapers (NH/Maine)

Since that was a negative review, I guess Obsessed was the cheese?  What the holy heck is going on?  Did this movie drive reviewers nuts?

“Bottle blonde sexpot in heat with boundary issues on McMansion home invasion spree, with alpha male power as the ultimate female aphrodisiac. All that’s missing is the stained blue dress. I did not have sex with that woman, she had sex with me.” Prairie Miller NewsBlaze

Okay, evidence is mounting for the ‘reviewers driven insane” theory.  How is Bill Clinton involved in this?  And what the hell is a McMansion?

“This is one of those impossible horror movies, like the kind about giant radioactive ants or invading aliens who want to steal our water. Lisa is just a crazy psychotic bitch…” MaryAnn Johanson Flick Filosopher

Okay, this whole situation is starting to come into focus.  It’s not that reviewers are a few kernels short of a tub; it’s that this movie is absurd and that makes people write absurdities about it.

“Gene Siskel used to talk about the Idiot Plot – a plot that could be resolved in five minutes, were all the characters not complete idiots. Obsessed represents the dictionary definition of the Idiot Plot.” Mike McGranaghan Aisle Seat

That’s the first descriptive word someone’s used to describe this movie: idiotic.  So, why was it so popular?

“Shades of gray? Moral ambiguity? Who needs ’em. Obsessed traffics in catharsis–we aren’t here to learn about the human condition, we just want to watch Beyonce tromp a tramp.” Amy Nicholson Boxoffice Magazine

Hope you enjoyed your weekend.