Today is April Fool’s Day, which means you probably won’t uncover an insidious super hop code.  There’s a higher likelihood you’ll find pop rocks on your toilet seat or question the plausibility of Gmail Motion.  If the technology exists for me to communicate “Barbados” through a hand wave, I hope Google lets the world see their Source Code (Rotten TomatoesMetacritic).

“Source Code is what might happen if one cross-bred Groundhog Day with 24 and The Matrix.” James Berardinelli ReelViews

They won’t perfect movie cross-breeding until we see Bill Murray torturing terrorist suspects while performing airborne kicks in super slow motion.

“A movie with an indie spirit and blockbuster sensibilities, Source Code is popcorn entertainment with genuine heft, and proof that the move to Tinseltown doesn’t always mean having to sell your soul to the suits.” Jordan Farley SFX Magazine

At least until Source Code 2.0

“Jones’ brilliant visuals work perfectly with Ripley’s story, the scenes playing out like musical variations of an underlying theme. In the land of the one-trick pony, Jones is a rare exception.” Kimberly Gadette Indie Movies Online

There’s nothing wrong with a one-trick-pony, if the trick never stops impressing

“Here’s a movie where you forgive the preposterous because it takes you to the perplexing.” Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times

So long as the movie avoids being predictable, painful, or patronizing.

“Confounding, exhilarating, challenging–and the best movie I’ve seen so far in 2011.” Richard Roeper Richard

So, if you want a good movie this weekend, point yourself towards the theater and run, skip, or Hop (Rotten TomatoesMetacritic).

“Presented with the opportunity to do the first-ever big-budget Easter bunny flick mixing live action and animation, “Hop” gives us . . . a bunny who poops jelly beans.” Kyle Smith New York Post

Before I judge the quality of the movie based on that statement, does the bunny poop Jelly Belly beans?

“Looks suspiciously like a cack Santa flick in which the fat red guy’s been switched with a talking rabbit.” Robbie Collin News of the World

Another Christian holiday has been re-branded as a commercial for candy.  I’ll know this trend has gone too far when Good Friday is sponsored by TGI Fridays.

“Skip, jump, run away, whatever! Do anything you have to do to avoid Hop, which treats its plot like a formality and its young viewers like brainwashed twits.” Matt Pais RedEye

To prevent brainwashing, use knowledge as soap or detach your head before the spin cycle.

“It’s like a cartoon root canal for your brain.” Camerin Courtney Christianity Today

Implicit in that metaphor is the idea that your teeth benefit from the root canal in the long run.  Is anyone saying that about this movie?

“To put it succinctly: Hop is brain death.” Gary Wolcott Tri-City Herald

Any movie that can kill human brains with Jelly Bean poop is pretty Insidious (Rotten TomatoesMetacritic).

“If Polgergeist is the Disneyland Mansion of spookhouse movies, Insidious is a small-town Haunted Hayride, filled with low-fi jumps and punctuated with giggles.” Brian Juergens

In terms of audience thrills, which is best: High-fi, Wi-fi, Sci-fi, Del-phi, Low-fi, or No-fi?

“By the time the absurdly deflating finale rolls around, Wan has managed to not only botch his own film, but sully the one cool element of Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace as well.” Nick Schager Lessons of Darkness

How can an ending be so bad that it ruins two movies?

“This is no trifle aimed at undiscerning teenagers on a slow weekend. It is ruthlessly calculated to scare the bejeezus out of you.” Eugene Novikov Film Blather

Ruthlessly calculated to make you drive with a calculator

“Insidious is the kind of movie you could watch with your eyes closed and still feel engrossed by it.” Christy Lemire Associated Press

Sounds good.

“Whatever flaws it may have, Insidious scared the hell out of me.” Eric D. Snider

Any movie that can purge excess hell from your system is Super (Rotten TomatoesMetacritic).

“Why don’t people stand up and be a hero? Kick-Ass’s reason is: because you could get killed. Then the heroes persevere anyway. Super’s answer is: because it’s crazy and irresponsible to be a vigilante.” Fred Topel Screen Junkies

I’m still waiting for the movie that discourages costumed vigilantism because of spandex chaffing.

“Fun and funny, dark and twisted, semi-schizophrenic and certifiably insane.” Scott Weinberg Cinematical

Wow, the movie is nuts.  Super?

“Most of the time it isn’t clear whether Gunn is critiquing violence or celebrating it.” Michael O’Sullivan Washington Post

Or both

“A superhero needs a mission. Super needs a point.” Eric D. Snider

Would it have helped to name the hero Point Man?

“Super is not wanting for good ideas; it’s wanting for direction.” Mark Keizer Boxoffice Magazine

King Sheep suggests consulting a compass