King Sheep Productions

I’m not feeling my best today, so this week’s roundup will depend on two kinds of reviews: ones that express delight and disgust with their respective movies through colorful language and detailed explanation and those that don’t.  Given my ill feelings, I’ll be sticking with the latter tone for my commentary.
First up, a look at life after college for a perfect student who learns that life is imperfect in Post Grad (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Post Grad is a Devil Wears Prada without the devil, a Reality Bites without any bite — and not much reality, either.” Roger Moore Orlando Sentinel

So, it’s Post Grad Wears Prada?

“Post Grad deserves a failing grade.” Greg Quill Toronto Star

But there aren’t any grades after college…

“Sweet but instantly forgettable; a fantasy version of post-college life carefully structured to offend no one — and intrigue no one.” Moira MacDonald Seattle Times

Is the lack of intrigue offensive?  Nevermind, I choose to instantly forget.  Next up, short attention span audiences are given mini-stories about a wishing rock in Shorts (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Magic vies with technology in this exuberant adventure comedy, which unfolds achronologically in a series of zany, effects-laden vignettes.” Andrea Gronvall Chicago Reader

Excuse me while I look up achronologically.

“The movie is as lumpy and misshapen as a giant booger.” New York Post Kyle Smith

Uh…gesundheit?

“Rodriguez should have turned to Tarantino for a few pointers on non-linear narrative.” Tom Meek Boston Phoenix

Thanks for the segue assist into Inglourious Bastards (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Quentin Tarantino does it again. Again.” Kurt Loder MTV

You said that already.  Already.

“For all its stylistic flourishes and interlocking storylines, Inglourious Basterds is, at its bullet-riddled core, a bloody good war movie, twisting and twisted and full of wordy shrapnel but no less kickass for it.” Marc Savlov Austin Chronicle

Word shrapnel comes from grammar grenades and talk torpedoes.

“Christoph Waltz matches Lecter, Vadar, and the Wicked Witch of the West with a performance that shows off his fluency in English, German, French, Italian…and evil.” Nell Minow Beliefnet

Will the evil be subtitled?

“Gutsy, pleasurable and very satisfying. Packaged together by the amazing Quentin Tarantino, this film will slap you in the face and say: “Damn good, what a way to end the summer!”” Jolene Mendez Entertainment Spectrum