Hello Gentle Readers,

I got a few compliments on this week’s Thursday review round-up so I thought I’d share it with the faithful readers of KS. Plus, a mysterious someone commented on my blog the last time I did this so I’m testing to see if I’m under government surveillance.

HAIRSPRAY

As we all know, our summer movie season wouldn’t be complete without a has-been scientologist in drag singing and dancing through an adapted Broadway musical. Thankfully, Hairspray twirled itself into an encore performance at the Audian (6:30). I have to say, this looks like a movie that would be fun to ruthlessly mock. Unfortunately, the reviewers seem to think it’s one of the best movies of the summer (a whopping 93% positive rating). Good thing I’m wearing my ‘advocate for the devil’ hat. Mocks away!

“Against all expectations, Hairspray turns out to be an explosion of industrial-strength good cheer, delivered by very smart show-biz pros with wit, passion, and a soupçon of dementia. Resistance is futile.” Ty Burr Boston Globe

Nerd alert! We have an uber-Trekie quoting the Borg on aisle 5 next to the industrial-strength good cheer.

“Fellas, there are going to be a lot of little hotties at this movie. Here is an ideal place to catch them off-duty, their hair up in scrunchies. No, it won’t turn you gay.” Kyle Smith New York Post

Stalker advice from Inmate 432 (aka Kyle). In addition to picking up girls, this movie is guaranteed not to turn you gay. Whew. Thanks jackass.

“A safe, self-congratulatory fantasy which revisits the civil rights era not for a valuable history lesson but for an escapist, syrupy sweet, sing-a-long trip down memory lane to an unrecognizable, Hollywood utopia that never existed.” Kam Williams NewsBlaze

Wait. You wanted a civil rights history lesson from a comic musical? You must be the kind of person who wants a lap dance from a rodeo clown. Pipe down and let the adults talk.

“A funny thing happened: I was having so much fun watching this movie that when it was over, I felt a strange feeling of disappointment. I could have sat there all day.” Mike McGranaghan Aisle Seat

Warning: this film may put you in a coma. But in a good way. Okay, critics love it, I want to mock it. What’s the final word?

“Only a die-hard grump could resist the giddy charms of Hairspray.” Randy Cordova Arizona Republic

Bah-Humbug mother fucker. Uh oh. I think I overdosed on my own sarcasm. See you tonight.