It was a great roaring surprise to me that the Emmy’s were on last night, not because I’ve missed all the advertisements proclaiming its arrival, but because I’ve watched so much TV that my long-term memory is full of commercial jingles rather than useful information. However, if you’re keen on the boob-tube, as I am, then here’s a rundown if you missed anything. Loads of jokes about Bush and Senator Craig, and a big round of laughs for a stand-up routine featuring Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, and an “alternative power” leaf-blower fueled by Al Gore’s tears. Big winners were James Spader, Katherine Heigl, America Ferrera, Sally Field, Jeremy Piven, Terry O’Quinn, Jaime Pressly, Robert Duvall, Judy Davis, Helen Mirren, Ricky Gervais, 30 Rock, The Sopranos, and Tony Bennett for every single thing he or his one-time TV special was nominated for. If you don’t know what these people were nominated for, then you probably don’t care that they won anything, so on to other business.

Tomorrow I must begin my yearly vacation or else my government-mandated allotment of vacation hours will disappear. It is a bittersweet duty however. On the one hand, I am being forced to stay home and do whatever I please while still receiving normal pay, but on the other hand…

No, you know what? There is no other hand. This is downright brilliant and a sure-fire recipe for good times. “But, Nate, you sly paragon of virtue,” you say. “What about the comic strip(s)?” Well, my dear acolytes, the true glory of this vacation is that it primarily benefits you. I might not be pulling canines and herding babies at my day job, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be working. Imagine what I’ll be able to do when I don’t have to spend 8 hours every day being patronized by folk who think a printing press works on the same basic principle as a microwave oven.

Freedom is the greatest creative aphrodisiac, and I intend to guzzle it straight from the teat. Too much imagery? Okay then. There will be a new Kingdom Heights tonight, one on Wednesday, and a new Coming Distractions on Friday. Edit: Two new Reviews.

Avant Nate.