King Sheep Productions

So. Doritos X-13D. If you have yet to spot this innocuous little black bag in the grocery aisle, I recommend you seek it out.

The Premise: Doritos’ taste engineers developed a new flavor, but their marketing department and taste-testers were both wiped out in a mutually-assured-destruction bout of “hand grenade hot potato.” Thus, you, Joe Orange-Fingered Couch Hobbit, have become both the taste-tester and the marketing executive in that you must first decipher the product’s unique taste, then name it.

The Result: The internet is bursting at the seams with opinions of the new chips. It reminds me of the early online world of MUDs. As a player, one could shout a question to the entire world and, true to internet fashion, would get all sorts of replies.

1st Level Grasshopper: “I just picked up a silky pink key. What’s it good for?”
16th Level Smartalec: “Opening the silky pink panty drawer!”
11th Level Grumbler: “Plugging your mouth. Shut up!”
25th Level Wiseman: “Opening one of three doors leading to the Gnome King.”
8th Level Bittermaster: “It makes you invincible. Go attack the archvampire.”

The Moral: If you want an educated opinion, ask a person. If you want a symphony of noise composed of 90% crap, 8% unintelligble AIM-speak, 1% hyperbole, and 1% gold-pressed latinum, ask a crowd of people sitting at computers behind anonymous screen names.

The Conclusion: Doritos X-13D taste like Coney Island hot dogs with ketchup and relish. If you’re like me, and remember tenderly those days of making hot dog and potato chip sandwiches, then this is your ambrosia.

I went to see Spider-man 3 this weekend.

Of course I did. Didn’t you? All the cool nerds were there (and those of us who just have a Kirsten Dunst fixation). Naturally when I tell people that (about seeing Spider-man 3, not the Kirsten Dunst thing), they ask two questions: what was the best part, and what was the worst part?

There were a lot of good parts. Visually, it was as stunning as watching Bush win a spelling bee: most of the time, you couldn’t believe your eyes. There was good character development, upsets in the status quo (a must for sequels).

The worst part? I’m not going to tell you because it would ruin the movie experience for you. Go see it for yourself.

But I’ve got to say that the biggest part of my weekend was finding out that the client I’m doing this ginormous illustration job for is dissatisfied with all the work I did on it last week, so much so that it will require many redraws. That means I’m now a week behind.

And that means I’m going to lose a lot of sleep or go way over deadline. Not sure which sounds worse. I mean, I love my sleep. I love my sleep. How much do I love it? Well, let’s just say we spend most of our time together in bed. It’s very physical.

Anyway, some marvelously inconsequential trailer reviews for ya!

Rush Hour 3 – I can’t believe they’re making a third one (just because it’s been so long since #2), but this preview does make it look good. I just hope the preview doesn’t contain the sum of all the jokes (hey! that’s a good spoof title: “The Sum of All Jokes”).

Shrek 3, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End – It’s truly the summer of sequels, and I just hope they all live up to the hype. Of course they won’t, but it’s nice to hope.

Across the Universe – It’s time again for movies set in the tumultuous ’60s. Art, love, parties, war, protest, pain, and through it all is the music. This preview feels like equal parts Forrest Gump and Moulin Rouge, and looks like the film will be full of phychedelic imagery.

Surf’s Up – Finally a preview that deviates from the Happy Feet promotional formula (tell the audience nothing about your movie). Before, it looked skippable, but then apparently someone let them in on the secret that people love when you let them know what the flick’s about. So now it looks good. Maybe even opening week good.

So that’s all. I’ll try to get a review up later, but don’t hold me to that because I’m inches away from self-inflicted narcolepsy.