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Your Sister Rocked My Boy

by King Sheep on June 15, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Posted In: Blog, humor, movie reviews, updates

The meaning of this week’s roundup title hinges on the word ‘rock,’ with interpretations that include: hurling stones, physical exertion, or jamming with a band. If you don’t want to question anyone involved in the rocking, consider asking Your Sister’s Sister (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“After putting male insecurity under a comic microscope in “Humpday,” writer-director Lynn Shelton hands the fairer sex a more prominent role in Your Sister’s Sister, another winning study of relational boundaries crossed and sexual dares gone awry.” Variety Justin Chang

Winning ‘sex dares’ are part of a different genre.

“There is a looseness to the dialogue that suits the mood of the story-each character gets his or her own bombshell (or two) to digest and has to figure out how to cope with it.” Time Mary Pols

How a car copes

“A spontaneous, engaging character study of three people alone in a cabin in the woods.” Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times

The last movie about a cabin in the woods also involved studying the insides of the characters.

“The dialogue was largely improvised during a 12-day shoot, and the chemistry between the leads appears effortless.” Elizabeth Weitzman New York Daily News

Nothing good is effortless, only evidence of masters at work.

“Shelton’s work here suggests that mumblecore may be finding its way out of the artistic ghetto it’s placed itself in.” Lou Lumenick New York Post

Given the ‘poor artist’ cliché, maybe it’s good to live in the artistic ghetto. These impoverished innovators could be responsible for the next Rock Of Ages (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Rock of Ages is a soundtrack with a visual component tacked on. It’s not so much a musical movie as music, with a movie. The experience of watching it is akin to listening to a runaway jukebox stuck in the ’80s.” Christopher Lloyd Sarasota Herald-Tribune

Listening to two hours of jukebox music would cost you ($1 per song @ 3 min per song for 2 hours) roughly $40 bucks. So, bargain!

“Disposable, overly long fun best enjoyed with BFFs and a bevvie.” Total Film Jane Crowther

It’s a shame movie theaters don’t serve the kind of ‘bevvie’s’ that best accompany bad karaoke.

“Rock of Ages is an effulgent celebration of fakeness. It isn’t trying to be real; it’s trying to be faker than any fake thing has ever been before.” Salon.com Andrew O’Hehir

Successfully pseudo

“There’s no denying the party-time pow of Rock of Ages, or of Tom Cruise’s performance.” Peter Travers Rolling Stone

Any deniers up to the challenge?

“It’s enough to make you “stop believin.’” Roger Moore McClatchy-Tribune News Service

“They didn’t pour some sugar on this thing; they poured the whole friggin’ box.” Matt Singer ScreenCrush

Every Breath You Take reminds us Everybody Wants To Rule The World, so Against All Odds you should Jump, Walk Like An Egyptian, and Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, because even though Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Girl You Know It’s True, that it Hurts So Good When Doves Cry and Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.

“A few days after seeing a screening, I was driving by a billboard for the movie, and I thought, well, who knows? That might be fun. Then I realized I’d already seen it. And forgotten it.” Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune

If you routinely forget the last movie you saw, consider making a checklist of other important things, like whether or not That’s My Boy (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).


“It’s monumentally coarse and vulgar, aimed at the mentality of a 14-year-old locked inside his father’s liquor cabinet, and nothing about it is funny, least of all Adam Sandler.” San Francisco Chronicle Mick LaSalle

Wait, Adam Sandler has a 14-year-old locked in his liquor cabinet?

“That’s My Boy more than lives up to its R-rating – including one gross-out gag repulsive enough to make you put down your popcorn.” Miami Herald Rene Rodriguez

Dieters, take note.

“I know, when Sandler’s not trying he’s an easy target, and he’s not trying here. But honestly, this is one of those movies you feel stupider just for having sat through. I think I’m already worse at math.” Bill Goodykoontz Arizona Republic

Bad math: making the sign. Worse math: buying the product

“Is it time for Adam Sandler to stop appearing in his own movies?” Rene Rodriguez Miami Herald

Maybe, but it will make Happy Madison sad.

“Even with 87.5 years to go, the 21st century may never see a stupider comedy than That’s My Boy.” Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune

King Sheep would take that bet

└ Tags: review roundup, Rock Of Ages, That's My Boy, Your Sister's Sister
1 Comment

On Creative Blocks

by Major Sheep on June 13, 2012 at 8:23 am
Posted In: Blog

Whenever I feel stuck, creatively, there’s nothing that gets me out from under the dangling blade like a little dose of Aaron Sorkin. The rapid-fire conversation, unerring wit, and character quirks are enough to obliterate all blocks.

I’m going to make a mix DVD (that’s right, a mix DVD is the new thing) of the first five episodes of “Studio 60” and “West Wing,” and just put it on repeat when I’m in a jam.

Sounds good.

20120613-082240.jpg

└ Tags: aaron sorkin, Creative, studio 60, west wing
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Europe’s Bel Ami Wants Promethean Guarantee

by King Sheep on June 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm
Posted In: Blog, humor, movie reviews, updates

What constitutes a Promethean guarantee? Would it be a queue for people to gaze upon the fires of creation? Given that Frankenstein is the modern Prometheus, perhaps the guarantee extends to eternal life (at least for parts of you). As an icon for intellectual and scientific discovery, every generation of dreamers should elect/create their own Prometheus (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Prometheus is the antithesis of the “big, dumb summer movie.” Its visuals and special effects can stand toe-to-toe with any of the season’s spectacles, but are audiences ready for something with an intelligent, thought-provoking screenplay where the action is secondary? Prometheus is flawed, but stupidity cannot be numbered among its missteps.” ReelViews James Berardinelli

So, it’s a big, smart summer movie?

“In space, no one can hear you having a good time.” James Verniere Boston Herald

Correction: In space, no one can hear you.

“We are left, after all the propulsive action, with great turns by Theron and Rapace, and a tightly wound turn by Fassbender, whose eerie, poetically impish mechanical man might have burst from Bradbury’s conscience.” New York Daily News Joe Neumaier

Rest In Peace Ray

“‘Epic’ comes in many forms. Prometheus sports all of them.” Matt Patches Hollywood.com

Let’s hope the list doesn’t include an Epic Fail.

“Ridley Scott has counter-evolved his 1979 classic Alien into something more grandiose, more elaborate – but less interesting. In place of scariness there is wonderment; in place of tension there is hugely ambitious design; in place of unforgettable shocks there are reminders of the original’s unforgettable shocks.” The Guardian Peter Bradshaw

In place of America’s Least Desirable Pets we get Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Europe’s Most Wanted is so full of laughs and great characters, it’s easily the best in the series. Like “Toy Story 3,” the Madagascar gang just gets better with time, and this new adventure is funny, exciting and heartwarming.” Boxoffice Magazine Pete Hammond

The best things in life mature with age, like cheese, wine, and animated movies about escaped zoo animals.

“Credit Baumbach, credit the filmmakers, credit no one giving a damn anymore – for what’s yet another hyperactive talking-animal children’s movie, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted is uncommonly rewarding, and a potential future stoner’s delight.” The A.V. Club Alison Willmore

The movie is for future stoners, but not kids or current stoners?

“Madagscar 3 is less interested in plucking the last bit of meat off the series’s bones than with simply picking the lowest-hanging fruit.” Sam Adams Time Out New York

High-hanging fruit is a pain in the ass

“Eye candy so saccharine sweet it might send viewers into diabetic comas.” Matt Singer ScreenCrush

Eye candy comas and observational diabetes don’t sound sweet.

“Deeply, engagingly weird.” Alison Willmore AV Club

Perhaps the same could be said of Bel Ami (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Though gorgeous to look at, the first feature from Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod has an undeniable void at its very center: an utterly blank leading man.” Elizabeth Weitzman New York Daily News

I knew the sparkles were just special effects.

“Bel Ami’s journey from rags to riches and many warm beds in between has moments of tantalisation, yet is an overall flat experience.” Matthew Pejkovic Matt’s Movie Reviews

It sounds like his most interesting experiences happened when flat on his back.

“The picture is handsomely staged and easy-on-the-eye but never establishes a fluent pace or tone, while the general point of the story escaped me.” Henry Fitzherbert Daily Express

Sometimes you miss the point by landing on it

“De Maupassant’s story was subtitled “The History of a Scoundrel”; this is more like ‘The Summary of a Scamp.’” Keith Uhlich Time Out New York

At least it wasn’t “The blurb of a boob.”

“’I had no conception of the depths of your emptiness!’ a character shrieks in Bel Ami, and her words take on an unintended resonance as addressed to Robert Pattinson in the lead role.” Variety Justin Chang

Meta-burn! The characters in the movie mock the actors portraying them. For the rough world of character warfare, it’s Safety Not Guaranteed (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“More focused on emotion than adventure, it teases out the possibilities and perils of time travel without embroiling itself in the confusion inherent to the subject.” Jesse Cataldo Slant Magazine

For example, I could have written a truly brilliant comment here, but then went back in time and changed it to this. I won’t know why I did it until I do it, which means I’ll be confused until I catch up with myself.  Make sense?

“The clever but confused “Safety Not Guaranteed” is loosely inspired by a classified ad, ostensibly seeking a partner for a trip back in time, which became a minor Internet sensation a few years back.” Marc Mohan Oregonian

With movies based on poems, books, comics, myths, board games, and theme park rides, why not include personal ads on the list? Next up, Snapple caps.

“Touching, generous, sweet, this little slip of a movie puts you under some kind of spell.” Mary F. Pols TIME Magazine

This trick is magic

“Totally charming. Aubrey Plaza and Mark Duplass make a wonderful pair. This has real sleeper potential.” Chris Bumbray JoBlo’s Movie Emporium

King Sheep realizes his sleeping potential every night

└ Tags: Bel Ami, Madagascar 3 Europe's Most Wanted, Prometheus, review roundup, Safety Not Guaranteed
Comments Off on Europe’s Bel Ami Wants Promethean Guarantee

How to Apply for a Job as a 2D Artist/Animator

by Major Sheep on June 4, 2012 at 9:10 am
Posted In: Blog

20120604-090951.jpg

It’s a very specific title for this week’s post. That’s mostly because my knowledge is very specific, and I don’t want to cause any confusion or imply that I know more than I do.

However, I’ve been working at Zipline Games for 10 months, and I’m about to add a second shipped title to my credits, so I figure I can start throwing advice around.

One of the things I do at work is go through art applications, of which there are piles and piles. We’re still just a little mobile company, and we get so many portfolios. I can’t even imagine what big studios get in a day.

So after seeing so many artists and their applications, I’ve been compelled to make a list of things to be aware of, should anyone reading this be applying for work as a game artist.

Regarding the application:

1. This is absolutely the most important. Don’t apply multiple times for the same job. The people reviewing applications won’t forget about you. If you haven’t heard anything, it’s because they’re not interested or not really hiring. Special caveat: if you’ve made significant and meaningful changes to your portfolio contents since your last application, it’s okay to submit again with a big “updated portfolio” note.

2. Don’t waste time on your cover letter. I won’t say it’s completely irrelevant, but it’s usually seen last. If it’s a formulaic cover letter (“Hello, *name*, I found your advertisement for a 2D Artist position on JobListings.com, and I believe it’s a perfect match for my skills”) then you’re better off without one. Getting a standardized cover letter is like getting a generic birthday card that just says “love, Mom” with a quarter taped to the inside.

3. Make sure your portfolio address is clearly visible at the top of your application. Bold, underline, and brightly colored if at all possible Don’t hide it or bury it.

4. Read the description of the job you’re applying to. I see so many 3D portfolios come in on a 2D listing, and the only conclusions I can draw are 1) the applicant believes 2D and 3D are the same, or 2) they’re too busy to include relevant art samples, and figure a bad application is better than no application. I assure you that’s not the case. More than anything, it shows a lack of attention.

Regarding your portfolio:

5. Try your best to show work that looks like it will he a good fit for the company you’re applying to. Don’t send chibis to Arena.net, or blood and gore to Nintendo.

6. Show the entire piece of art in the thumbnails. Don’t do little thumbs of a zoomed-in section of your drawing. It makes it hard for art directors to remember which picture was with which thumb.

7. Flash-based websites are only useful if you’re applying to be a Flash web developer. As an animator or artist, your time is better spent on portfolio pieces than on making an overly-ornate presentation for them.

8. It doesn’t really matter where your online portfolio is hosted. DeviantArt, Behance, Carbonmade, Worpress, Geocities, I don’t care. The artwork is what matters.

8b. It does matter if your portfolio is ugly (artifacting, blurry images) or confusing to navigate.

9. Get to the art immediately, if not sooner. Skip the intro page, entrance page, animated reveal, or anything else that stands between a potential employer and your artwork.

10. Variety is the spice of life. And portfolios. No one needs a one-trick pony, so be sure to show a range of artistic capabilities.

These are just a few things I’ve learned so far from my experiences. There’s just one more thing you should remember when you’re job hunting. Right after I graduated, there was something I heard a lot from folks in my situation: “Don’t bother. No one’s hiring. ”

Ignore that bullshit, and never let nay-sayers tell you what can’t be done.

So that’s it. I hope this has been helpful. If not, let me know, and I’ll try harder next time.

Nate

└ Tags: art, jobs
1 Comment

Snow White Schools Piranha

by King Sheep on June 1, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Posted In: Blog, humor, movie reviews

Nice work Snow! Most Disney princesses couldn’t school a piranha in a swimming pool, on a basketball court, or in a classroom filled with honor student piranha. Based on previous princess priorities, most would prefer to worry about the ‘will they/won’t they?’ of Snow White And The Huntsman (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“A strong visual style tussles with flaccid storytelling in this ambitious retelling of Grimm. It won’t exactly have Walt Disney spinning in his secret ice chamber, but you may wish they spent more time worrying about what exactly the film is than who it’s for.” Empire Dan Jolin

We know the intended audience is not Walt Disney’s frozen head.

“Astonishingly beautiful and breathtaking in its brutal imagery, Snow White & the Huntsman is thrilling and frightening in equal measure, yet as bereft of satisfying substance as a poisoned apple.” Christy Lemire Associated Press

Beautifully brutal, frighteningly thrilling, and as satisfying as a poisoned apple.  Grim indeed.

“We’re supposed to believe that Snow White commands the adoration of everyone she meets, but when poor Hemsworth lunges in for his emotional reveal, it’s as plausible as a man professing undying love for a tablespoon.” Sophie Monks Kaufman Little White Lies

Could happen

“[It] all feels like serious, pay-attention-now, schoolroom stuff – Shakespeare without the poetry, “Braveheart” without the performances.” Stephen Whitty Newark Star-Ledger

Something historically awesome without the awesome parts – like Titanic without romance, Goodfellas without gangsters, or Patton without yelling.

”Never quite delivers on its promise — a dark retelling of the fairy tale in which women hold the true power, good and evil — but it certainly is an attractive misfire.” Arizona Republic Bill Goodykoontz

An ‘attractive misfire’ sounds like a fantasy euphemism, such as holding a shield of jello or firing rubber arrows. Then again, perhaps this joke belongs in High School (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Yes, the drugs-can-be-fun message is somewhat questionable, but sharp writing and a thoroughly engaging cast makes it great fun to watch.” Rich Cline Shadows on the Wall

If drugs weren’t fun, people wouldn’t do them. A better message is knowing when to Just Say Woah.

“Filmmakers must have been tripping pretty badly when they made High School, a flub that’s about as lucid as a stoner at a spelling bee.” USA Today Scott Bowles

Would spelling be easier while sotally tober?

“‘High School’ is a pun. Get it? This is one of those stoner comedies that may be funny if you’re high – but if not, not.” Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times

If you're feeling punny

“Dear Adrien Brody: Playing a crazy drug dealer is not as funny as being an Oscar-winner who shows up in a commercial for razor blades.” Marshall Fine Hollywood & Fine

Dear critic: Topical reviews that aim to be current have the same shelf life as jokes about celebrities in commercials.

“This is mostly all reefer, no madness.” Time Out New York Keith Uhlich

And if you prefer just madness, take a dip with Piranha 3DD (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Who’d have thought that a movie entitled Piranha 3DD could be so bereft of titillation?” Ben Rawson-Jones Digital Spy

Answer: Optimistic puritans.

“As one character notes, “there’s something in the water” all right, and apparently it’s making movies (and audiences) progressively more stupid.” Bruce Demara Toronto Star

Someone put stupid in the water! Quick, get your water wings.

“‘Welcome to rock bottom!’ sighs Hasselhoff at one stage, pretty much summing up this textbook exercise in sloppy seconds. Here’s hoping the piranhas have a better agent than he does.” Total Film Neil Smith

K.I.T.T. saved more people than the Hoff, yet this is the only gig his agent could get

“Not scary, not funny, not clever, “Piranha 3DD” is just a waste of time.” Brian Tallerico HollywoodChicago.com

In the interest of not wasting any more of yours, let’s wrap-up this roundup.

“Just remember: it’s called Piranha 3DD.” Staci Layne Wilson Horror.com

King Sheep suspects the title is the cleverest part of the movie

└ Tags: High School, Piranha 3DD, review roundup, Snow White And The Huntsman
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