Joneses Kick Death's Ass At Funeral Gift Shop

by on April 16, 2010 at 10:40 pm
Posted In: Blog, humor, movie reviews, updates

I wonder if Death got his ass kicked because he was responsible for guiding the living into death or because his cloak looked too much like a burqa.  Oh well, I don’t mean to mix my politics and my movie humor, however most great movies try to raise questions that aren’t easy to answer and this week is full of movies trying to do that.  American consumerism, death and family relationships, modern art, and the media appeal of superheroes are up for public debate.  We start with the a movie that I hope lives up to the title: Kick-Ass (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“The best superhero movie since “The Dark Knight” (and far less serious in tone or approach), Kick-Ass earns its name in every way.” ReelViews James Berardinelli

All right, kick ass. Although I’m left to wonder if the sequel would be called The Dark Ass?  Perhaps, Kick Asses.

“Kick-Ass moves with such bloody assurance that you’d be forgiven for not seeing how smart it is. But smart it is. Smart, important and deadly.” Time Richard Corliss

Smart, important, and deadly sounds like a description of a bomb, which I hope the movie isn’t.  However, let’s hear from the naysayers.

“Never as shocking as it thinks it is, as funny as it should be, or as engaged in cultural critique as it could be, Kick-Ass is half-assed.” Village Voice Karina Longworth

Ass-kicked?

“Kick-Ass is a rabid puppy of a movie, energetically bounding off the screen and into your lap, where it proceeds to chew off your face.” St. Petersburg Times Steve Persall

Is there a metaphorical chew toy we could give him instead?

“Kick-Ass should delight fans of the original comics and garden-variety action junkies as well. Suggested subtitle: “Iron Man, You Just Got Served.”” Washington Post Ann Hornaday

Iron Man will get to retaliate in a few weeks, but without a dancing movie to segue into, we’ll have to settle for a dark comedy criticism of American materialism: The Joneses (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“There’s the makings of a nasty satire of modern American materialism [here] but in the end…the movie goes soft, squishy and even–heaven help us–preachy.” Frank Swietek One Guy’s Opinion

How preachy are we talking about?

“The Joneses is a list of grievances nailed to the door of the Church of Materialism, but the hammer never hits the audience’s fingers.” Michael Ordoña Los Angeles Times

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this is practically a manifesto.

“A sharp, witty, and revealing take that shows us, among other things, that we never really leave middle school when it comes to wanting to be just like the cool kids.” Nell Minow Beliefnet

The last time I remember pining for middle school coolness was when I purchased a pair of impressively uncool parachute pants.  Apparently I was keeping up with the MC Hammer’s, which has only gotten easier.

“Borte supports his jewel of a story idea with dead-on casting, stunning images and product placement that’s intentionally heavy-handed.” Boxoffice Magazine Steve Ramos

Even when made of sand, the heavy hand looks bad

“Somewhere on the way to the future, America decided that it’s better to have a houseful of designer wear and home entertainment gadgets galore, than good schools, affordable health care, and a job and home for everyone. Or did they?” Prairie Miller NewsBlaze

Oh, they did.  And speaking of designer gear and misplaced priorities, this week’s releases include a documentary about our relationship with exploited street art: Exit Through the Gift Shop (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic)

“Manages to be informative and very funny whilst making a genuine and intriguing point about the commercialisation of street art.” Matthew Turner ViewLondon

Is the point that we shouldn’t worry about keeping up with the Jackson Pollucks?

“A funny and fascinating look at an underground art movement, and how easy it is for someone with questionable amounts of talent to suddenly become a star.” Edward Douglas ComingSoon.net

It seems that most pipe dreamers would daydream about becoming famous out of luck instead of ability.  After all, the lifestyle of someone famous is more appealing that just being famous.

Famous, not necessarily envied for his fame.

“What’s true? What’s not? Is it a Banksy fabrication, a knowing stunt satirising the art world? Tellingly, there’s no director credit. Whatever the truth, it’s an amusing, curious documentary.” David Gritten Daily Telegraph

A film without a director?  That is curious.  Was it directed by a robot?

“An exhilarating hall-of-mirrors look at what happens when global art fame turns anonymous, artists become objects, fans turn into artists, and the whole what’s-sincere-and-what’s-a-sham spectacle is more fun than art was ever supposed to be.” Owen Gleiberman Entertainment Weekly

Art should be fun.  Sadly, our education system stops encouraging art when kids stop caring about crayons.

“This is splendid stuff, directed with verve and humour by Banksy who – aghast at Guetta’s artistic triumph — announces he will never make another art film. Shame.” Tim Evans Sky Movies

The final film of a first-time (possibly fictional) director sounds about as sad as a Death At A Funeral (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Think of Death at a Funeral as a comic quickie. As it presses buttons, a few laughs come out, but that’s all there is to it.” The New York Times Stephen Holden

Since when does pressing a few giggle buttons equal a quickie?  Unless we’re talking about robots again.

“A mixed bag, Death at a Funeral has moments of real wit — and moments when you envy the corpse.” Moira MacDonald Seattle Times

In this case, the body has more entertainment than the funeral attendees.

“Verdict? Mixed. Loved the slapstick, winced at the toilet humor, and mourned that the female performers were given so little to do. Funeral is funnier the second time around.” Philadelphia Inquirer Carrie Rickey

Most funeral’s are one-time things.  A sequel would seem to be in poor taste, however remakes sidestep that concern.

“I didn’t like the British original at all. So to say that the American remake is okay is actually a huge improvement. I guess Americans are just better at mediocrity.” Fred Topel Can Magazine

Kick ass?

“I was laughing so much, I forgot it was a Martin Lawrence movie!” Willie Waffle WaffleMovies.com

King Sheep forgot why that was funny.

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Artist's Corner 2

by on April 14, 2010 at 6:23 am
Posted In: Blog, Uncategorized

Hello, everyone.  I hope you all had a good weekend, and your return entry to Planet Work hasn’t been an outright crash landing.  If you’re still recovering from your orbital zero-g party zone, then I can assure you this post will contain as few capital letters as possible.  I know how they can be jarring to the eyebones, and I’m pretty sure that’s why no one uses them in texting.

So, today I’m turning my focus to the comment I received last week.

“I remember really liking your artistic commentary on previous [Coming Distractions] strips. Perhaps you could blog about your favorite webcomics, or any attention you get from muses.”

I’ll start with muses.  First, I get so much attention from muses that my only relief comes from taking large doses of caffeine.  The resulting mental white noise drowns out most of the screeching and allows me to lead a relatively normal life for most of the day.  Night time is when the drug wears off and I can’t do anything except obey their commands, and that often leads to a hard choice between being productive or getting shut-eye.  On average, it takes me 45 minutes to get to sleep.  What doesn’t help is the fact that I have class in the morning, work until late evening, and share a bed with someone who gets up at 6:30 am.  My muses don’t know what to do with me 5 days a week, but we’re working through it.  No counseling yet, but it might come to that.

Edit: Now that I’ve been laid off and have run out of coffee, my muses are basically using me as a red-headed piñata.

As for webcomics, a list of my faves (more or less) appears in the Links section of the site, but I think more can be said about why they’re there.  First of all, this is a list of comic strips, not graphic novels or dramatic comics.  I’m more of a “laughs on the outside” kind of clown who enjoys short-format.

For me, when it comes to liking a webcomic or any comic for that matter, I usually look at the art.  When Travis Charest was doing Wildcats, I was in the local comic shop every other payday to get the new one.  The writing was secondary, and that holds true to this day.  My favorite comics, in order, are Three Panel Soul, Penny Arcade, Wapsi Square and Sinfest.  Ian McConnville, artist of Three Panel Soul and MacHall is phenomenal and snagged my interest from the first time I saw his work, same with Paul Taylor of Wapsi Square.  Anyone who can make a girl with a gigantic head and hands look not only good but sexy too, well he deserves respect.  Sinfest has such delightful linework and style that it’s almost like cartoon impressionism.  Lastly, Penny Arcade.

I love PA, but it’s complicated like a soap opera love trapezoid involving a doctor switching babies at birth who then grow up to fall in love, but their parents tell them they’re related just so they can have revenge on the doctor who plotted the romance from the beginning as a way to vicariously fulfill his own desires for their parents.  Crazy.  Paragon of style and artistic merit it is not, but it is incredibly funny pictures drawn with a tenacity and mirth that is unmatched in comics today.  But see, even that is unfair because it makes it sound like Mike Krahulik is a hack or simpleton who merely stumbled into success.  When you think about most artists, they spend time refining their work and their technique because they want it to look pretty for the masses.  But for a true cartoonist, the value of the artwork they create is determined by how much it makes you laugh, and Penny Arcade does that three times a week.  The writing’s pretty good too.

I’d like to keep going, but it’s already Wednesday which makes me two days late.  The authoritarian part of my chorus is doing this right now:

Maurice

Maurice says, "Time and tide wait for no man!"

So, I’ll catch you all next week!

Getting the flock out.

-Major Sheep

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Night Life After Dating

by on April 9, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Posted In: Blog, humor, movie reviews, updates

Your theater entertainment options for this weekend are as follows:

Option one: A mistaken identity comedy starring TV’s two best comedians.  Option two: Liam Neeson goes back-to-back weekends with a supernatural/psychological thriller.  Option three: Save your money and pre-order Avatar.  Option four: None of the above.  Option five: Call your significant other and schedule a Date Night (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).


“Different from run-of-the-mill romantic comedies–which is all to the good, but not terribly funny–which isn’t.” Frank Swietek One Guy’s Opinion

Confused by your syntax–which happens, especially when comments are taken out of context–which sucks.

“A jumble of genres, tones, and styles, Date Night ultimately strains to be a serious movie about marriage, with one joke: that, even when surrounded by excitement, Claire and Phil revert to being dull. But in practice, their dullness is just dull.” Village Voice Karina Longworth

Did 'special' replace 'dull' at some point in our linguistic history?

“A broadly promising premise and well-matched stars prove no match for an abominably unfunny screenplay and the work of the poisonously untalented Shawn Levy–arguably the worst director making big-budget studio films today.” Boxoffice Magazine Wade Major

Levy’s previous movies include Night at the Museum (1 and 2), Cheaper by the Dozen, and The Pink Panther.  If we take the average of their Rotten Tomatoes scores, we get (133/400=33% average), which means Date Night is currently his greatest achievement, by double.  Great!  He’s not as terrible as expected.

“The movie knows enough, most of the time, to just let the funny people be funny.” Portland Oregonian Marc Mohan

Letting clumsy people be clumsy.

“These talented performers star in two of the wittiest, most sophisticated sitcoms on the air, but for this movie pairing they’re stuck with an endlessly silly plot line and overblown physical mayhem that is instantly forgettable. The fact that they make it so funny nonetheless is a testament to their abilities.” The Hollywood Reporter Frank Scheck

“Carell and Fey … can telegraph anxiety, humiliation and exasperated affection in a glance. They give the film a boost even Levy can’t deflate.” Colin Covert Minneapolis Star Tribune

Translation: Talented comedians make the movie funnier than the director wanted it to be.

“A skeleton praying its leads will bring it to life.” Amy Nicholson I.E. Weekly

Creepy.  And strangely enough, the plight of animated corpses is the premise of After. Life (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).

“Born again Christina Ricci haunts a mortuary, while perfecting post-mortem freaky in the nude. This may or may not be your cup of embalming fluid, in terms of either intriguing those with unconventional viewing preferences, or seriously creeping you out.” Prairie Miller NewsBlaze

In doing these roundups, I’ve come to know the tones and personalities of several critics and Prairie Miller is consistently one of the most amusing and enigmatic reviewers to read.  In two sentences, she summed up the movie “Christian haunts mortuary,” made a movie-themed joke about embalming fluid, and summed up the movie’s likely audiences: people who liked to get creeped out, people who are creepy (aka unconventional viewers), and horndogs “freaky in nude.”  Pretty impressive.

Also impressive, not so pretty.

“The only thing worse than bad horror is pretentiously bad horror. From title to finish, After.Life takes itself far more seriously than you will.” New York Daily News Elizabeth Weitzman

Oh good.  I was having enough trouble taking the Title. Seriously.

“So many horror conventions are at work in After.Life that either the filmmakers are parodying them or couldn’t come up with anything better. I’m betting on the second choice.” San Francisco Chronicle Walter Addiego

I’ll give action on that bet, but I’d need at least 3 to 1 odds.

“Its attempts to intriguingly address issues of life and death are undercut by silly vagueness and sillier gratuitous T&A.” Nick Schager Slant Magazine

Silliest

“We can enjoy the suspense of the opening scenes, and some of the drama. The performances are in keeping with the material. But toward the end, when we realize that the entire reality of the film is problematical, there is a certain impatience. It’s as if our chain is being yanked.” Chicago Sun-Times Roger Ebert

If we don’t bring a chain, should we shield ourselves from other types of yanking?

“This is one case where there’s more life in the morgue than out.” Time Out New York Keith Uhlich

I can’t tell if that’s an insult or wordplay with the premise.  Also, the impressive looking morgue is the only recurring praise for this movie.  Let’s end this roundup with someone who agrees with me.

“What might have played well as a multipage Poe rumination gradually gets pulled to bits by thudding Ricci-Neeson face-offs in the poster-ready funeral-prep chamber.” Nicolas Rapold Village Voice

King Sheep is now poster ready.

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Artist's Corner 1

by on April 5, 2010 at 10:05 pm
Posted In: Blog, Uncategorized

I’m starting another regular posting to the blog which will come in the form of an “artist’s corner” kind of thing.  Most times.   But that name conjures an image of Commander Mark in a bookstore alcove teaching kids about perspective.  My posts will be more like a street corner where the light is out, and a guy with wild hair and supersoaker full of coffee is talking to himself so loud that you can’t help but overhear him.  I’d really like for it to be eloquent and organized, but I haven’t been writing for a while, so you’re going to get crazy stream-of-consciousness stuff sometimes.  Excited?  Okay, let’s go!

I started the King Sheep website right around the same time I found out I was a finalist in the Illustrators of the Future contest, and that’s a great benchmark because it signifies my transition from amateur to professional artist.

To be fair, I enjoyed some small notoriety in college for “Simon,” at that time a thrice weekly comic strip that appeared in the campus newspaper.  There’s even a story that I was impersonated at a bar in order to pick up a girl.  I wasn’t there to see it, but witnesses are adamant.  The difference between “Simon” and the Illustrators contest is the difference between a line cook and a hitman: one has a paycheck, the other has a contract.

To me, a paycheck is nothing special.  I’ve been getting them since I was 16, and the thrill has kind of worn off.  Ah, but a contract is something else entirely.  It represents a departure from the grind of a traditional job, an ascension to a higher level of employment where people are paid according to expertise instead of bureaucratic maneuvering.

Galaxy Press gave me my first contract and my first national publication.  At the week-long workshop for the Writers and Illustrators of the Future was where I met Kevin J. Anderson who prompted me to hit up our mutual friend, Pat Rothfuss, who needed a world map for his upcoming book.  That was my second publication.  The workshop was also where I was paired up with Blake Hutchins, Writers finalist and “Tribes 2” scribe, who I’m now working with on a graphic novel.

So that explains the pivotal juncture the contest held for me, and also leads to the first topic: becoming a professional artist.  This isn’t meant to be a guideline for others to follow (despite my frequent use of the word “you”) but rather a list of the things I’ve learned in my own rocky journey.

The first point is networking.  Everyone stresses networking because it’s the single most important thing for an artist to have.  Even more important than artistic talent.  I used to sit on my scavenged hide-a-bed couch reading comic books and wondering why some sloppy hack had a job and not me, and it took a long time for me to realize the obvious answer: no one knew me.

So I became more outgoing, made friends, hung out with writers and other artists, because no one wants to hire the guy who can’t talk to anyone.  I joined web communities and forums where I commented alot.  I learned the key to being liked in web forums is never say too much, never put yourself down, and never flame.

Actually…that works for regular conversation too.

The next most important thing: a body of work.  I won’t say “portfolio” because an obsessive, single-minded artist might focus on trying to make four or five pieces so perfect that they absolutely personify his style and range, and he never actually produces anything on a regular basis.  Yeah, I’m talking about myself.  It’s far better to have a nice plump body of work from which to liposuction choice pieces for a portfolio.

The last thing I have to say about becoming a professional artist is a phrase that made my blood boil for years.  “Figure out what you want to do, and do it.”  Those words were said by my brother’s father-in-law, and the reason I hated it was because I wanted to be a concept artist for a game publisher at the time, yet no one would hire me.  So how could I be a concept artist if I couldn’t get any work as one?  I toiled for years, applying to companies with a portfolio that was woefully irrelevant because I was more focused on getting a job than doing the work to prove I could already do the job.

The fatal flaw was that I believed my future depended on getting work so that I could be an artist.  In actuality, if you do what you love, work will find you.

So, that’s all I’ve got for today.  I hope you enjoyed it, and if you tune in next week for another installment, I promise there will be pictures.  Funny ones.

Nate

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