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A week after Halloween, every release is about something supernatural. We’ve got psychics, aliens, ghosts, and Cameron Diaz. Okay, I admit – maybe aliens and psychics can be explained with science, but some things are better left in the realm of imagination. Mark Twain once said “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.” Of the movies coming out this weekend, the strangest tale is supposedly based on true events: The Men Who Stare At Goats (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).
“An often highly amusing comedy in the vein of “Catch 22” and “Dr Strangelove,” this lively satire looks destined for future cult status. Great soundtrack, too.” The New Yorker Anthony Lane
The Men Who Stare At Goats: Or, How I learned To Stop Shooting And Love Killing With My Brain.
“George Clooney browbeats livestock with the same crazy eyes he brought to O Brother, Where Art Thou? — but his new movie, an unfocused comedy about weird Army pseudoscience, ends up blinking before we laugh.” Joshua Rothkopf Time Out New York
“Try to browbeat me and I’ll open your head like a can of soup”
“Even if The Men Who Stare at Goats is not worth comparing to “Dr. Strangelove,” it should satisfy audiences with its great cast and patent absurdities, coated in quaint nostalgia for the happy hippie days of yore.” The Hollywood Reporter Deborah Young
A movie about psychic hippies in the military? Do you need a better example of truth being stranger?
The book cover looks more like "The Men Who Shoot At Goats"
“Intended as a farcical antidote to big-screen bores about Afghanistan and Iraq, it’s twice as pompous and endlessly tedious.” Rex Reed New York Observer
“The Men Who Stare At Goats is a light-hearted and highly entertaining antidote to pompous large scale movies about Iraq or Aghanistan.” Mike Goodridge Screen International
They disagree about it being good and whether it’s pompous, but agree that it’s an antidote. However, doesn’t that imply that we were poisoned by other war movies? Personally, I blame Pauly Shore.
It’s not that ‘fake’ funny you might expect.
“A serendipitous marriage of talent in which all hearts seem to beat as one.” Derek Elley Variety
Multiple hearts beating as one sounds vaguely creepy, but no creepier than having a button that kills a random person and awards you $1 million in cash every time you press it, which is the premise of The Box (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).
“It may fall short of Donnie Darko’s clever storytelling, but for his third feature film, Kelly plays confidently with suspense and lays down the right hooks at the right time to keep you drawn into his creepy world.” Patrick Kolan IGN Movies AU
“Lays down the right hooks” = effective twists or punches to the face?
“Certain parts of it are maddeningly inspired. The sum of all its parts will just make you mad.” Leigh Paatsch Herald Sun (Australia)
Was it a sign of madness when Britney did it?
“Kelly’s most accessible ambiguous odyssey to date, The Box dares you to open it up again and again.” Ben McEachen Sunday Mail (Australia)
Should we expect double dares if there’s a sequel?
“The interesting thing about Richard Kelly’s films is that in none of them do you know exactly what’s happening, and it does not really matter, because there is such a wealth of imagination there. I found it very impressive.” David Stratton At the Movies (Australia)
Whenever I do this roundup early, I end up working with mostly Australian reviews, which I find fascinating. I’ve heard that Aussie’s tend to get things like video games, tv shows, and other forms of entertainment on a separate release schedule, but an early one? Down under is on top in this case. Back to the subject at hand, what’s the lowdown on this high concept thriller?
“Kelly’s trademark mix of sci-fi, surrealism and suburbia occasionally entertains.” Variety Jordan Mintzer
Occasionally entertaining meets occasionally unbelievable in the interview-based thriller about alien abduction: The Fourth Kind (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).
“There’s nothing in this glorified Power Point presentation that stands up to even the most cursory scrutiny.”Joshua Tyler CinemaBlend.com
Who’d want to scrutinize a Power Point presentation?
“The Fourth Kind was one of the scariest things I’ve seen in years. I’m going out to see it again, which tells you how much I care whether or not it’s a hoax…I enjoyed every thrilling minute of it.” Jenna Busch Huffington Post
Perhaps Mrs. Busch loves Power Point, or she drank a lot of beer before watching.
“A couple of modestly effective shocks lie in store, but none as frightening as the onscreen text informing us that some 11 million people claim to have seen a UFO.” Scott Foundas Village Voice
During the UFO hysteria of the 1950's a woman claimed to have seen one. When asked how she knew it was an alien spacecraft she said "The ship had UFO written on the side of it."
“If your mind is in the right place, THE FOURTH KIND is a chilling, creepy, unnerving and engaging experience. But I stress the idea that most of you probably will not like this…Buyer beware.” Brad Miska Bloody Disgusting
I probably won’t like it, but if my mind is in the right place, I might. What kind of mindset do I need to be in?
“Alien abductees are back and they are still idiots.” Victoria Alexander FilmsInReview.com
Got it. Our last movie is Robert Zemeckis’s third all-CGI movie (after Polar Express and Beowulf), only this time it adapts Dickens: A Christmas Carol (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic). I’ve always been curious about how Scrooge became such an enduring Christmas character since we associate him with dissing the x-mas and being an all-around Bah Humbug-er. It’s like if Nazi sympathizer became a sign of Hanukkah because someone wrote a story about him changing his mind about Judaism.
“A Christmas Carol is, in its essence, a product reel, a showy, exuberant demonstration of the glories of motion capture, computer animation and 3D technology. On that level, it’s a wow. On any emotional level, it’s as cold as Marley’s Ghost.” Kirk Honeycutt Hollywood Reporter
It’s sounds oddly appropriate that a computer animated film would struggle with emotion. How many computer programs connect with people on a personal level?
“This new Christmas Carol starring Jim Carrey will scare the bejesus out of small children!” James O’Ehley fantastiqueZINE
“Conceptually brilliant with mind-blowing special effects, but who is the intended audience of this visual extravaganza? Certainly not children: the content is far too dark with haunting imagery that could provoke nightmares for impressionable youngsters.” Louise Keller Urban Cinefile
That’s okay, kids don’t need to learn the spirit of Christmas. They’re already the biggest supporters of the holiday. Adults are the ones who need to be reminded to give and appreciate their fellow man/woman.
“By the time it’s over, you’ll have to be a real Scrooge yourself to not have at least a little bit of the Christmas spirit instilled into you.” Edward Douglas ComingSoon.net
PDJ wonders if it's ever too early for that.
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And I’m finally back. I hope many of you who haven’t given up on our comic strip updates will head over to Coming Distractions for a chuckle (if you haven’t already). Those things are supposed to be done once a week, but I’ve been shirking that responsibility lately. Why would I do such a thing?
Well, the reason is purely selfish. Back in September, I discovered a book called The Artist’s and Graphic Designer’s Market (also a website here). This 576-page tome is the single greatest resource I have found for fledgling freelancers frolicking in fabulous fanfare. Sorry, got carried away with the alliteration. A series of articles practically gives a step-by-step guide for approaching potential clients, and a list of magazines, galleries, and book publishers provides all the information to help you decide who to approach.
So I’ve spent the last month creating new artworks, polishing my portfolio, and making promotional materials to send out to publishers. It’ll be a freelance launch of sorts. Most of the new stuff I’ve made has been Christmas-themed since that’s the next major holiday that magazines are working on now. Yes, I know Thanksgiving is yet to come, but most publishers work a month ahead of things. To complete these new art pieces, I have fully-immersed myself in the Christmas season for inspiration. That meant music, movies, peppermint candy, and peppermint mochas when I could afford them. Becky’s starting to get angry with me for idly humming “Jingle Bells.”
Some of you might think I’ll be burned out and unable to enjoy myself by the time Christmas actually arrives. I tell you now that is not possible. Christmas and I are like peanut butter and chocolate, chips and chili, Spielberg and Williams; we will never tire of each other. Steve Martin once said that if he were in charge, December would just be a 31-day-long orgasm. I couldn’t agree more. It almost is with the rampant consumerism nowadays, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Seeing Christmas decorations of sale two weeks before Halloween doesn’t even scuff my holiday spirit. It just makes me loathe commercialism.
No, when the Christmas season is truly upon us, I will be as jubilant as ever, chugging eggnog, gobbling down fudge, and preaching the good word of a pure and light-hearted holiday to the disillusioned masses. This is because I have discovered in my increasing age that I am an eternal child at heart, and am incapable of giving up on my favorite season. In fact, I’m working on a way to scientifically prove the existence of Santa Claus.
Until that time, you can find me in a home festively decorated in autumn colors, prepping for glorious Thanksgiving revelry. Each holiday deserves its due afterall.
Oh, and new art can be found on my portfolio page here, for those who are curious.
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I can’t tell if it’s creepy, appropriate, or coincidental that the major Halloween release this weekend is Michael Jackson’s This Is It (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic). Does the premiere date make this concert rehearsal documentary into a ghost story? Or is it worse to see it as a morbid cash-in on the King Of Pop’s recent demise? In the legacy of MJ, those questions won’t even register as a footnote. This iconic performer has been everything from a dancing zombie to a Disneyland ride. He invented the moonwalk and made the crotch grab into a dance move. He is arguably the greatest child-star success of this era. Amid all the accolades of his music and his talent there was also an elusive, bizarre, and troubled celebrity. The one area of critic consensus is that this film is focused on the former instead of the latter. This is a film about Michael the performer and the comeback performance he had planned. Whether you view it as a tribute or a tribulation, if you’re curious about what a massive retrospective MJ concert would have looked like, (insert title here).
“This may be as close as we’ll ever get to knowing the strange boy-man who was one of the greatest entertainers — onstage, on record and on video — of the 20th century. He comes across as ageless and timeless, just like the songs he sings.” Jon Bream Minneapolis Star Tribune
Is it insulting to call young Michael ageless?
“What this strange yet strangely beguiling film does is capture one of pop culture’s great entertainers in the feverish grips of pure creativity.” The Hollywood Reporter Kirk Honeycutt
Fever Grip!
“One of the best documents of live performance that I’ve ever seen, a rehearsal diary that’s more intimate and immediate than a traditional concert film.” Slate Dana Stevens
I feel bad making jokes about this movie. The reviewers that speak with reverence want to celebrate the man and what could have been, but some people saw a hastily-constructed documentary rather than a MJ tribute.
“While this memorial to Jackson’s talents will satisfy some, if you’re looking for insight or understanding about Jackson’s life and ethos, this ‘documentary’ is not for you.” Jennifer Merin About.com
“At best, it angrily demands to be rechristened This Is It! Too often, however, an incredulous This Is It? seems more apt.” The Onion (A.V. Club) Nathan Rabin
The picture is the answer. The quesion is: What do George Lucas, Jim Henson, Walt Disney, and MJ all have in common?
And then there are the haters.
“Strictly pressed factory floor sweepings, packaged and sold with questionable intent to a public aching for closure…takes Jackson’s musical legacy and squeezes it for every last remaining nickel.” Brian Orndorf BrianOrndorf.com
“There are two ways to look at Michael Jackson’s big screen B-roll dirge: Either it’s a touching documentary tribute or only slightly classier than stringing up Jacko’s corpse by its wig and making him perform a post-mortem marionette moonwalk.” Mike Ward Richmond.com
And the award for most cringe-inducing review goes to…that guy. Or maybe he was trying to insert some Halloween horror into his review, either way this movie is about a man and his music. If you’re a fan of one or both of those things, I hope it’s not too cold standing in line.
This is the preferred connection between MJ and Halloween
“Fan or not, in This Is It, you don’t see death, just life. There is no sadness or tears; you walk out with a smile. Forget the controversies, this is truly who Michael Jackson was – his music. It’s a film that you don’t want to end.” Clay Cane BET.com
And if MJ doesn’t fit your movie tastes on Devil’s Night, how about vigilante justice? That’s what you get from the sequel to an indie-cult hit about two brothers who like to look cool shooting people for God, Boondock Saints 2: All Saint’s Day (Rotten Tomatoes – Metacritic).
“The result isn’t art but it is an improvement: a scurrilous, lowdown, sub-Tarantino action comedy that, unlike the original, doesn’t make you want to claw your eyes out. How’s that for praise?” Boston Globe Ty Burr
Well, that’s one of the more positive reviews. So that’s pretty good I guess. Sort of. Maybe.
“You’d think Troy Duffy would have learned something in the decade since he blew his golden ticket with The Boondock Saints. “ Brett Michel Boston Phoenix
Wait, what did he do to his golden ticket?
“Duffy orchestrates the resulting carnage like an inebriate spinning fourth-rate Peckinpah tales.” Keith Uhlich Time Out New York
So, it’s like a drunk copy of someone else’s carnage? I’m starting to think the real scares in this roundup are in the reviews for this movie.
“Cloaking vigilante justice (not to mention casual racism and homophobia) in religion eventually turns Boondock Saints from merely a bad movie to a distasteful one.” Jake Coyle Associated Press
“John Woo outgrew stylizing movies like this in the ’90s, but Duffy is still chasing his perfect slide-and-shoot, except now with more self-satisfied posturing, awkward pop-culture referencing, casual homophobia and racism, and the most vulgar co-opting of religious iconography this side of Dan Brown.” Village Voice Aaron Hillis
The Boondock brothers could have learned something from a real smooth criminal
“You wouldn’t call The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day a taut thriller. More like a fleshy, messy, jangled frenzy of shootouts and much discussion about the mechanics of romantic entanglements that bloom between prison inmates.” New York Post Kyle Smith
PDJ hopes your Halloween is filled with more treats than tricks and doesn't involve romantic entanglements between prison inmates
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