Why I Can't Sleep

by on October 18, 2008 at 6:58 am
Posted In: Uncategorized

My biggest problem right now is tension: neck, shoulder, back. Time was I used to spend my days sitting at a computer, but now I spend at least 8 hours a day on my feet, walking. Not just standing, but walking.

I’ve been working a retail job at a place called Storables for the last four weeks, and that means lots and lots of walking around and making sure customers are happy, satisfied, and appreciated. What it means for me, however, is that I’m constantly tense.

First, there’s the physical aspect of standing and walking for long periods of time (an atypical activity for me). Second, there’s the emotional aspect of wanting to do well at this new job, dealing with customers’ problems (and disdain if you can’t solve them), and fretting over the fact that I’m a 32-year-old college graduate working a job that barely (and I mean barely, skating by a hairsbreadth on the skin of my teeth with no room for error) pays the bills.

Have you ever worked a full-time job while working freelance and job hunting? And keep a healthy marriage? The first casualty was my social life. Little to none, excepting the occasional visit from the honorable King Sheep, or when a friend graciously offers to buy me lunch or coffee.

To those friends: thank you.

Yes, tension is my enemy. I know I should stretch more or exercise more or eat more iron or protein or calcium or Monk’s Hood or something, but what I really want is fewer stressors.

I’ve been popping in to video game company offices and expressing my desire to work. No doubt, some of them may explore this website and find this blog. I certainly hope so, because there’s something I’ve realized in my time of being unemployed and ungainfully employed.

I’d rather be happy than rich.

This may seem like common sense to some of you folks out there, but it was something that I’d forgotten in my years of working in Redmond. I don’t need oodles of money to blow on a car or a plasma screen wall or a condo on top of the Space Needle. What I need is to care about what I do.

I care about entertainment.

So please everyone send me good vibes, waves, prayers, and everything else so that I can fulfill my destiny and start entertaining the world.

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A mixed bag

by on October 17, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Posted In: Uncategorized

This week has it all – an Oscar-buzzing biopic (W.), a teensploitation gross-out comedy (Sex Drive), a women-power book adaptation (Secret Life of Bees) and a video game actioner (Max Payne). Some are gold, some are gruesome: but every ticket costs the same. This week we’ll break up our reviews along group dynamic lines. If you’ve seen It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia you know that classic teams of TV and film have four primary categories: The Brains, The Muscle, The Pretty Boy/Girl, and the Wildcard. Let’s see how our square peg reviewers do when put into these round hole roles.

First up, Oliver Stone’s biopic about soon-to-be-ex-president Bush (W. 61 %). While it’s a little odd to have a fictionalized history of current events, Stone’s directing and Josh Brolin’s performance have already generated some critic love. Personally, the only award I know it deserves is shortest title. First up, let’s hear from the Brains.

“By opposing the mob mentality that would hang Bush in effigy, W. imaginatively sympathizes with the most maligned president in modern history.” Armond White New York Press

Does this mean that right-wing pro-Bush-no-matter-what Republican fanatics will like this movie too? Or does W. show us the silver lining on the black cloud hovering over the man who ruined America? Let’s hear some tough-love courtesy of the Brawn.

“Since we’re dealing with Oliver Stone, a point worth making once is worth making a hundred times, in 100-point boldface type, until not even the dimmest bulb in the audience can possibly miss it.” Scott Von Doviak culturevulture.net

So W. is either a simple message about a simpleton President or a message movie where I’ll feel like I paid 10 bucks to attend a bad Poli-Sci lecture. Help?

“Oliver Stone doesn’t do comedy, intentionally. But perhaps he should: The half-baked, hayseed Hamlet he’s created in W. feels alive only when it ventures into the comically absurd.” John Anderson Newsday

So, it’s a comedy too? As the highest rated movie coming out this weekend, I’d hoped we’d end with a clearer sense of the movie. Oh well, if talking about Bush doesn’t inspire debate, you might be speaking to a rock. Take us home Wildcard.

“Never approaches the sometimes-hilarious horror of real life.” Matt Pais Metromix.com

What movie can? Or better yet: what movie should? Aren’t films meant to be escapism? Shouldn’t the hilarious horror of real life be the context through which we evaluate this piece of art/entertainment rather than a criticism of the film’s believability? Should I stop asking questions and move onto the next movie?

Next up, a raunchy teen-tries-to-lose-virginity road trip comedy called Sex Drive (45%). Let’s hear from the smarties.

“Maybe Sex Drive wouldn’t be such a slobbering excuse for a comedy if anyone involved had shown one iota of originality.” Mark Peikert New York Press

Ouch. The smart people say it’s dumb. People who support dumb people, what do you say?

“Another attempt at being the latest hip, raunchy comedy. And… it rises far above the other impersonators and rip-offs. This movie surprised me in every way.” Austin Kennedy Sin Magazine

Funny that a raunchy sex movie is endorsed by a magazine called: SIN. Quick, let’s hear from a brute.

“Sex Drive thrives on cruelty.” Ed Gonzalez Slant Magazine

Great, but I don’t know what that means. Wild card, help us out.

“This movie doesn’t contain ‘offensive language’. The offensive language contains the movie.” Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times

I can’t tell if that comment is crazy or Zen. Maybe it’s both, which would be Zen. Or maybe I’m crazy, which would be sad.

And speaking of sad, our next movie adapts a book about a young girl who goes to South Carolina in 1964 in search of secrets about her mother’s past and ends up learning about beekeeping in The Secret Life of Bees (52%). This movie can be summed up with one review.

“Oprah Book Club: The Movie.” Brian Orndorf BrianOrndorf.com

While I think I know what that means, I don’t like to give any one source supreme power (that’s my job), so here’s a few more that flesh out the pro/con debate.

“Isn’t it time that Hollywood took a sabbatical — maybe a permanent one — from movies in which black characters exist primarily to save the souls of white ones?” Owen Gleiberman Entertainment Weekly

Sure, but wouldn’t it be more problematic to only see white characters saving the souls of black people?

“A fable of black and female liberation in the sixties south so drenched in sugar that watching it may make your teeth hurt.” Frank Swietek One Guy’s Opinion

Guess we can save ourselves a trip to the concessions stand.

“…it’s almost impossible not to like it, in a pat-on-the-head, half-patronizing kind of way.” Jim Lane Sacramento News & Review

Maybe it’s just me, but ‘almost impossible’ sounds pretty likely. Wildcard, we need you.

“Is the sweetness worth the stickiness in this maudlin American Sisterhood of the Traveling Green Tomatoes?” Roger Moore Orlando Sentinel

A good question. Perhaps we can answer it by pulling a Palin and completely ignoring it and focusing on a bland Resident Street Fighter Evil Tomb Doom Hitman movie: Max Payne (23%). Another swing-and-miss for Hollywood adapting a video game to film. Cue the Brainiac.

“There simply has yet to be a decent film adapted from a video game. Why studios persist is a testament to the lobotomised throngs who encourage them by paying to see this type of gleet.” Jarrod Walker FILMINK (Australia)

All right Mr. Smartypants, I had to look up gleet (which is a thin, morbid discharge, as from a wound). You get points for being smart and angry. Let’s hear from people who are just angry.

“I never trust a film in which the protagonists have conversations or even arguments in the pouring rain — without umbrellas.” Andrew L. Urban Urban Cinefile

So the protagonists are stupid,
the action is limp and the tone is the worst kind of emo-noir cliché. I have to tell you, it sounds so bad it might be good.

“A big nothing, not even hokey enough to watch for the sake of laughing at it.” Katey Rich CinemaBlend.com

Crap.

PDJ

Have a rockin’ weekend!

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A joke without a punch line

by on October 9, 2008 at 2:54 am
Posted In: Uncategorized


A spy, a leper, a football icon, and a perpetual optimist walk into an underground bar. The bartender says: “You picked a hellovah time to visit.” Everyone looks at each other uncomfortably.

The spy says to the leper “Is it safe?”

To which the leper replies “Duh, no. Don’t touch me unless your health care covers flesh-eating rabies.”

“I’m out of here,” says the football player as he bolts towards the door. But the door is locked. Then the lights go out.

“Cool. Slumber party!” says the optimist.

To everyone who is completely confused, the above was a fictional meeting of this week’s movies. Not all of the reviews are in and I’m trying to get a jump on my roundup before I head out of town; That being said, let’s introduce you to the players.

First up, the spy. Director Ridley Scott pits Leonardo Dicaprio against Russell Crowe in Body of Lies. Even though the title could easily be for an erotic thriller, this movie’s about mercenaries shooting at terrorists while desk jockeys yell at both of them. In short, it’s Spy versus Spy without the cartoon influence.

“If you’re looking for a high-tech, old-fashioned racist B-western, you’ve come to the right place, pilgrim.” Frank Lovece Film Journal International

Believe it or not, that was a positive review. Sorry Frank, you kind of self-described yourself as an idiot. Generally, racist westerns with John Wayne morals and science fiction technology aren’t good. Then again, I can’t think of an example, so maybe I’m the idiot. Next.

“Working from a screenplay by William Monahan, Scott takes rusty ’80s clichés from the days when we were playing nuclear chicken with Russia and retrofits them to the post-9/11 world. He exposes how weary those old spy tropes really are.” Owen Gleiberman Entertainment Weekly

The more I hear critics try to describe Lies, the more out of focus it gets. It’s an 80’s cliché, playing off cold war ideas and post-9/11 racism, mixed with westerns and nuclear chickens. Did I get that right? Anyhow, let’s hear one more and move on.

“What distinguishes the book with compelling insight may not be so apparent in the cinematic context. Still, for spy calculus, action, and character realization, I assign you to see it.” Jules Brenner Cinema Signals

Wait, now there’s calculus involved. Also, who is this Jules guy and why is he assigning me homework? Unless this material is going to be on the test. And if not, do we get extra credit? Man, I’ve been living in a college town too long.

Next up is the killer-rabies leper-horror Quarantine. It’s Blair Witch filming with Outbreak’s plot: a building full of people get infected with killer rabies and the government traps everyone inside and quarantines the building. Screaming ensues. The votes still out, but from the few people in the know, it sounds like either good-bad or bad-bad. For example:

“Actress Jennifer Carpenter of Exorcism of Emily Rose fame surely deserves some kind of award for giving the most hysterical over-the-top performance in a horror movie since Marilyn Burns in the original 1974 Texas Chain Saw Massacre.” James O’Ehley
Sci-Fi Movie Page

I think they already have over-the-top-acting awards (they’re called Razzies – past winners include Lindsey Lohan and Madonna).

Next up, the football icon. In The Express, we learn the story of Ernie Davis (the first black athlete to win a Heisman) and his coach. Since football movies tend to play off the same concepts (triumph against over-whelming odds, personal achievement, hard-and-team work rock, etc), we pretty much know the plot. The acid (or drug) test is how it stacks up against everything else in the genre. Game on.

“In the past few years, we have seen lots of football films, and this is by far the best. I might even be so bold to say that this is the greatest football movie of all time.” Austin Kennedy Sin Magazine

Slow down Mister, some of us cry just thinking about Rudy.

“Rob Brown’s performance in the title role is solid and static, but Dennis Quaid’s portrayal of coach Ben Schwartzwalder provides a convincing metaphor for a nation going through a crisis of conscience.” John Anderson Variety

Why do we need a metaphor? Open your window and you can see that the world is hip deep in real crisis.

And speaking of crisis, the underground bar in our little intro story comes from City Of Ember, a young-adult book about an underground city kept alive by generators. But, when the generators start to go out, only the kids think it’s a good idea to try to solve the problem. Sounds very young-adult-literatury. Kids rule!

“Kenan’s palpable affection for his central creation is so strong that once we’re gasping fresh air, we want to dive back in, get to know Ember’s intriguing denizens better and properly explore its claustrophobic hinterland. Something we’re sadly denied.” Dan Jolin Empire Magazine

However, not enough reviews are in to know if we should hope the lights stay on or go off forever.

Onto the final flick, an indie of undeniable quality that speaks to me on a very personal level: Happy-Go-Lucky. Currently clocking in at 97% positive (w/38 reviews), it’s the pick of the week. Too bad it won’t come to Pullman. Telling the story of an unwavering optimist and her daily life, just about everyone digs the character study/cheerful comedy.

“Indeed, playing someone sunny without making them totally irritating might be more of a challenge than portraying Lady Macbeth, and Hawkins makes Poppy’s good cheer pragmatic and personable.” Alonso Duralde MSNBC

I’m smiling as I read these. Hit me with another.

“A film that should be required viewing nationwide. A good blast of fresh air that sweeps you off your feet.”Holly Grigg-Spall Channel 4 Film

Giggles abound. Last call for happy thoughts.

“Fresh, funny and uplifting. A zingy, irresi
stible sorbet of light-footed comedy and everyday humanity. Only hardened churls will roll their weary eyes at Hawkins’ gusto. Leigh’s most open and optimistic film since Life Is Sweet.” Andy Lowe Total Film

Sweet. Stay happy everyone.

PDJ

Unchecked optimism gets 10 out of 10!

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Fiesta! Part II

by on October 8, 2008 at 5:45 am
Posted In: Uncategorized

Two days late, and I’m finally ready to post the rest of my experience at the first annual Redmond Digital Arts Festival.

I started out at 9am again, attending a Zbrush tutorial by the (please wait while the votes are tallied) unanimously talented Kenny Lammers, Technical Art Director at Microsoft Game Studios. He walked us through a program that allows you to sculpt 3D objects in real time, paint textures on them, and edge loop them to create a nice low-poly model that can be exported to Maya for rigging and animation.

He basically did everything I learned to do last quarter at LWTC only backwards. And more effectively. And COOLER. I giggled loudly (sorry, Kenny) several times during the presentation because it was just too exciting. I also got to enjoy a short walk and chat with new MSGS concept artist Collin Foran.

I should take this moment to let everyone know that every single person I got to interact with during the presentations and workshops were among the coolest and most interesting people I’ve met in Redmond. Definitely my kind of people. Which is another reason I need to get into the industry ASAP; to retain my sanity.

After the lunch break, I was back at Digipen for probably the best class I’ve gotten into for free. The title was “Game Art,” but the content was really more like “How to Format Character and Environment Design in the Game Industry.” I learned more about how concept artists work during those three hours than I have over the last two years of lurking on ConceptArt and reading ImagineFX.

Ironically, the key mantra to having a killer portfolio of concept art is “show your work.” Anyone who’s ever heard my loathing tirade against math homework is laughing right now. When I was young, I was a math whiz. It was incredibly hard for me to show the work because it seemed so obvious to me that writing it out was sort of like asking me to write out how to walk. Duh, you just do it.

Now I have to show my work again. The good news is that I’m excited about this prospect. I love to show my work when I’m drawing, egomaniac that I am. I just didn’t know that’s what they wanted.

So, as I get ready to hit the sack, I’ll leave you all with the five things that Ben Cammarano says are the most important things art directors are looking for in employees:

1. Be trustworthy. Nobody likes a liar or a cheat.
2. Be committed. It’s a tough job and they want to make sure you’ll be there rain or shine.
3. Be passionate. If you don’t love what you’re doing, then you won’t do your best.
4. Show you can finish a job. Quitters and lazyboys need not apply.
5. Be a team player. No one ever created, programmed, and distributed a successful game by themselves.

So if you’re trying to bust into the industry like I am, follow these simple directives.

That’s all.

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Fiesta!

by on October 4, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Posted In: Uncategorized

I just got back from the first annual Redmond Digital Arts Festival today, and what an experience!

First up was a 9am presentation by Ben Cammarano, Art Director of the Microsoft Game Studio, who talked at length about portfolios and what yours should look like if you ever want to get a job in games. Following that, he was gracious enough to sit down with a select few of us for one-on-one reviews of our portfolios.

I definitely have work to do. He flipped through my binder pretty quickly, pausing mostly to comment on the good use of depth in my landscapes (irony!), but I was left with the feeling that my work was largely unremarkable.

Getting a critique from one of the main men in game art is something you don’t take lightly, and I know that I have things to work on. See, I know that I’ve got skills, but I’ve been having trouble focusing my creativity. Thankfully, Ben’s critique really gave me a direction to travel with my art.

That direction is to work on value and composition. And action. And more creativity. Color is on the back shelf until I can bust out of my shell and start showing art directors what I’m really capable of.

Next on the program was a digital painting class at DigiPen. I learned some new techniques with Photoshop from Peter Moehrle, one of the men behind Ice Age 2 and Lilo and Stitch. It was tres cool, and I can’t wait to put some of these new skills to work.

All-in-all, it’s been a great day (despite the fact that I’m sniffling and coughing like the walking plague), and there’s more fun tomorrow. So, I wish you all a happy evening, and leave you with this little game my wife and I played during the Vice Presidential Debate.
I added phrases at the bottom that I thought she used too often. For the record, I wish I had one of these cards for Biden too, because neither one of them really impressed me.

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