Bear with me, folks. I’m making a lot of changes to the site formatting, so things will be a little irregular for a bit.
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So, Steven Colbert is running for President and I’ve been trying to process what that means for his show, the elections and US (as in the USA). On the surface, his decision could be nothing more than a clever gimmick to give himself more material to work with. After all, his show is based around satirizing the news and he never misses an opportunity to boast about his personal media wake. While I’m sure he’ll milk the premise for gallons of humor, I’m still left with the preposterous question: what if he wins?
Oh, of course he won’t. The loyal members of the Colbert Nation don’t represent a significant portion of the voting population, nor are they all likely to cast their ballot at this historical footnote. Plus, as cynical as some Americans are, voting a comedian into the highest office would be make everyone the punchline to a very cruel joke. However, Colbert is breaking important ground. He is a successful media personality with 30-minutes of daily soapboxing on all the issues currently being debated. He has the perfect platform – everyone already knows he’s a two-faced liar because it’s part of his act, whereas we are left to assume that other politicians follow the Judas path. He is not required to join any debates or come up with a plan for a health care cure all. His bid for the presidency is risk free: all of the publicity, with none of the baggage.
For me, what makes his decision so monumental, is that he has opened the door for media personalities to enter political discussions as the characters they play. The concept is absurd, but improbable concepts can become mundane through exposure (remember Alf?) So it may only be a matter of time before we see the actors of our youth become the politicians of our future.
Put Charles in Charge
Baio/Aames 2012
PDJ
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The following is a post about my job:
We get a lot of sales people coming into the shop. Despite the sign on the front window right next to the door that says “NO SOLICITING,” they trundle in and attempt to ply their wares. Mind you, they aren’t peddling unbreakable knives, cordless vacuum cleaners, or Girl Scout cookies. No, their merchandise is ten thousand dollar color copiers that mail merge, fold, staple, bind, and make mochaccinos in-line. Normally, these guys wouldn’t be a problem.
But my new boss used to be a children’s pastor at an area church. He’s new to the business and likes making people feel like they’re doing well, even if they’re bloodless carrion-feeders from the United Association of Merde You Don’t Need. What he’s only now beginning to understand is that these people don’t know the meaning of “mild interest.” He says, “I’m thinking of getting a new machine next fall,” and they hear, “Come by every day and pester me until I sign a lease.” He’s a softie, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but sales folk need a firm hand. They’re like bear. Like underage alcoholic freshman bear. You give them anything, and they’ll never leave you alone.
Now, I’ve got a roller in my desk. It’s a hardened rubber rod with a steel core about eighteen inches long that Ikon uses to push paper through their industrial-grade copiers, and I’m aching to use it like Mr. Echo’s Jesus Stick on the next rabid solicitor who comes through our door. I take the text “No Soliciting” very seriously. To me, it means that if you ignore it and enter the office anyway, you waive any and all right to a cordial exchange. I respect the bravery and testicular fortitude it takes to be a cold-calling sales person, but there are rules in businesses.
So, if you happen to be a seller of printing supplies, beware of ignoring signs on your next sales call. The person on the other side of the counter might be me.
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